After working with over 50 athletes in 2023, here’s what I know:
1. “The thing is never the thing.” – Whatever you say you’re dealing with; confidence, belief, doubt, self-talk, anxiety, pressure, is NEVER the real problem. Looking to fix these problems is exactly why you still get in your own way and are still searching for an answer.
2. “We’re trying to overcome the conscious mind, with the conscious mind.” – The Zone, The Flow State, is an UNCONSCIOUS state, where there is no thought, only doing. Yet we try to get into this state with all the sport psychology tips & tricks, which are all Conscious activities – mindfulness, concentration, visualisation. That’s why they don’t work.
3. “Consequences are the cause of Fear.” – The more you care about the result, the performance, the selection, the more overwhelming the fear becomes. The more we get in our own way. That’s not to give you the instruction of ‘don’t care about the result’ – it’s to help you understand where exactly your fear comes from, and to invite you to explore why your identity is so tied up with an external event that you don’t control.
4. “Know, or don’t know. Belief is garbage.” – If you KNOW you can do something, there is no thought. If you don’t know if you can do something, you naturally & curiously explore, to find out. Belief, however, is a thought. We all think that we must believe in ourselves, but this is the very thing that gets in our way. What if we just be honest with ourselves? What if we explore what we KNOW how to do (things within our control) and what we don’t know (whether or not we’ll win or lose, or succeed or fail) and free ourselves of the need for belief. We either know we can do it, and do it, or don’t know if we can do it, so explore and find out. Either way, belief & thought are unnecessary.
5. “Explore what is Preventing You.” – Instead of looking for the next tip, trick, technique, strategy or 5-step plan to do something, ask yourself “What is Preventing Me from X?” – There are an infinite number of ways you can achieve something, but there is a finite number of things preventing you from achieving it. It is far easier and more effective to remove barriers, than it is to ‘do’ more.
6. “Transformation happens in an instant.” – I see this over and over with my clients: that ‘aha’ moment, when the weight is lifted off their shoulders. That moment, when they suddenly understand something that completely destroys whatever is holding them back. Almost every client I have worked with at some point has said to me “I feel lighter”.
7. “Coaching is not for answers, it’s for questions.” – ANY coach can give you advice, in fact, any person can give you advice, and probably freely do. But the most impactful, transformative moments come when the right question is asked. In fact, I’ve come to completely refrain from giving any advice at all. You don’t hire a coach for advice, but to ask a question that completely changes your life.